friendships

[00:00:07] Speaker A: This is Media Labs. [00:00:26] Speaker B: Whoa. When we talk about petties and relationships, I think I feel like we need to do that. Everyone, welcome back to Media Labs. I am Chronicles, and today I have back my favorite girl, Alice. And Alice is in a mood today like the dinosaurs were before dinosaur Earth ended. Yeah, she's in a mood. And so we're going to talk about pettiness and relationships today. [00:00:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Although it's not, like, technically, like, I don't know, I think as a mom. [00:01:06] Speaker B: How do we get it so wrong? You know what I mean? [00:01:09] Speaker A: Sometimes, Well, I think you just fall into a. Like, just a repetitive way, like you get with someone or you're with someone, even friendships, your kids, your companions, your kids. And, you know, I know when I was younger and I was raising my children, I was just in survival mode, and a lot of women are. And they're like, oh, why do you want to put up with that man doing all that? I'm just trying to survive at this point. And I. You know, and so it takes a lot, I think, for women to leave men when there's children involved. Because one, you're like, damn, I got to do it financially on my own. I'm already doing it physically on my own. Like, I'm doing everything. I'm thinking about all this stuff. My brain never shuts up. And then you, you know, you want to add a divorce on top of that. Like, I just don't think it's. [00:02:07] Speaker B: So, just to be clear, we're not talking about. We're not talking about, you know. You know, we're not trying to throw balls, you know, at relationships, but what we are trying to do is just kind of have that conversation where we've all been in that situation where, you know damn good and well I'm being used, and you know damn good and well you're doing it. And how is that supposed to make me feel? And I feel like I'm completely overloaded, and I got nothing. I got nothing coming my way to help me. You know, you. You try and you try and you try and you put your best foot forward, and so far, you haven't gotten shit out the deal. And I think that resonates with a lot of people, don't you think? [00:02:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I do. I think there's. There. There's so many people that just, like, go. They bounce from person to person to person to person to person and suck the life out of every single person. They're like a fucking leech. [00:02:58] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:59] Speaker A: And they just suck the life. Yeah, they suck the Life out of you, out of every person they come in contact with. And then they wonder why, like, their relationships with that person, whether it being, again, a friend or whatever, have tilted. Because that person that they have taken so much from, finally, is like, I can't give you anymore. You've done taken everything that I have to give, and I have nothing else to give you. And so they're done with that person. They wash their hands and they move on. What kind of karma is coming back to them? Them? Well, that's when petty comes in, because my ass is so petty that I. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Will you put that in your back pocket, don't you? [00:03:42] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. [00:03:43] Speaker B: Me too. No, I. I think. I think that, you know, we get so burned out, we get caught up in relationships, and when I say, you know, we're talking about all kinds of relationships, right? And so you get caught up in it, and before you know it, you've. You've slipped so many times by checking someone on the chin about something that at this point, at this point now, you feel like the minute you say something, they're gonna pull that I'm offended card. Like, how dare you? Do you see what I mean? [00:04:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Like, how do you do that? Like, I know. I know of a. You know, a girl that had a best friend, and the best friend didn't exactly continue to grow with her, and one day she just decided to let her true feelings for her friend show. And my friend was devastated. [00:04:31] Speaker A: I mean, it just. [00:04:32] Speaker B: Do you see what I'm saying? [00:04:33] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just. I think you get to a point. [00:04:36] Speaker B: In life, but do you see where. Do you believe best friends can grow apart when they don't grow together anymore? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:04:43] Speaker A: I think people grow in different ways. And a lot of times people grow. Like, you be you. You befriend people, and you're their friend, but you that person or you, whatever, doesn't matter. They may not put in as much energy. They might not match that. I'm the type of person that I don't have to talk to every day. I don't even have to talk to you every week. I can talk to you once a month, once every two weeks, whatever. And then I can continue on and keep up because I'm so busy. So sometimes I don't have everything that I can to put into something. But also, people sometimes look at that as, like, they have to be. They have to be talking every day or sending. You know what I mean? And. And that's. That's sometimes not, like, rational Behavior. You know what I mean? [00:05:37] Speaker B: Right. Like you like my best friend of 20 years, right? He's in one state and I moved here. Right. [00:05:44] Speaker A: So sometimes you. [00:05:45] Speaker B: We don't talk. We don't talk sometimes for months. [00:05:47] Speaker A: Right? [00:05:47] Speaker B: But when we pick up the phone. [00:05:48] Speaker A: It'S like you never. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Right. It's two, three hours. Yeah, it's. It is. It's like two and three hours of just chatting and hitting, you know, and hitting it and. [00:05:56] Speaker A: But then there's also the level of the respect thing. Like for you and I, it's very difficult for us to even do this because my life is jam packed and I don't even have, you know, we. [00:06:12] Speaker B: Literally carve out time for you to be able, you and I to be able to get together and do this. [00:06:16] Speaker A: But how many times has it been, I can't do this today, I've got this going on or I'm exhausted. And it's, it's that mutual respect for someone goes so far if you're just honest. If you're just honest and you just say, I am about to lose my mind, or just listen to that person vent and don't give your two cents because when somebody calls you and they're upset, they don't want you to give them advice on how to get out of the situation. [00:06:47] Speaker B: You need to listen. Yeah, you need to shut up, but listen. You know, I think it's funny that it's like you and I have these secret codes, but they're not really secret. So it's like, I'll know when you're absolutely, completely done. Because on your. When I go to text you or something, it'll say all notifications. So I'm like, you know, and you know this about it. So I'm like, okay, she's done. Like, no, no, no, she's beyond done. She's went to bed, you know, she's taken the special sauce. [00:07:16] Speaker A: It's over. [00:07:17] Speaker B: She's done. And then when we, like, catch up the next day, you know, I'll text you every, you know, I usually try to text you every morning. You know, just say good morning and. And then that's when I'll. I'll get the either spoonful or the earful. Girl, I just effing had it. I was like, no, no, I seen it. I text it once. That was it. Notifications have been silenced. [00:07:40] Speaker A: It took a little bit for you to understand how I was, but externally. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Because we really knew each other internally, how we, how our friendship formed. [00:07:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:50] Speaker B: So. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. [00:07:51] Speaker A: But that the Communication was fine. We had conversations about it, you know, and it was fine. I didn't hurt your feelings, you didn't hurt my feelings. And we were just like, just flowed a little bit, you know, and it made it so easy to just have that common respect. And I think that's what's lacking in a lot of relationships. [00:08:17] Speaker B: I don't think young people today understand that. [00:08:19] Speaker A: Well, they demand it, but they don't give it. [00:08:21] Speaker B: But they don't give it. [00:08:23] Speaker A: No, I think you're right. [00:08:24] Speaker B: No, I mean, it's, it's, you know, I see it and, and it's, it's. We didn't grow up like that. Well, the first thing you do with your. With your friend or especially your best friend, right? You got to think about their feelings. Like, what the is wrong with you? [00:08:40] Speaker A: Well, I mean, if you think about it, like, I'm going to pull some of our past podcast into this. [00:08:46] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:47] Speaker A: So if you think about it, like, everybody wants you to respect their pronouns, their gender, how they want to be, like, called, which is fine. I don't have a problem respecting anyone. How they. If they want to be called a dog, I'm cool with that. Whatever. I may mess up because I'm a human being, but instead of blowing your. Yeah, I guess I didn't really know. [00:09:12] Speaker B: I just found a word. I just found a word. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Instead of blowing your. Your mind about it. Just a gentle reminder. I'm really sorry, but. [00:09:25] Speaker B: But doesn't it ever catch you, like, because you're not stupid. You're. You're far from a dumb woman. But doesn't it ever catch you, like, okay, Academy Award is going to. You don't even need to open the envelope. You know what I'm saying? Just give them the award. Because you're like, it's overkill. [00:09:42] Speaker A: But in the same sense, right? So here's where I'm going with this full circle thing. In the same sense, they want to call me a CIS woman, but when I say I really prefer you not call me that, because I don't really prefer, particularly like, that I'm being disrespectful. So the respect doesn't go both ways. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Girl, I'm telling you what. [00:10:03] Speaker A: I don't care if you want to be called whatever. I'm cool with that. I will do my very best to respect you, but I feel like you. [00:10:12] Speaker B: Need to catch one on the chin. I mean, I'm not even. I'm serious, though. You know how I feel about all that crap. [00:10:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:19] Speaker B: You know how I feel I know. [00:10:20] Speaker A: And we're not going to go into that, but I'm using that as an example for younger generations and even some older generations. [00:10:26] Speaker B: And the basis of friendships. [00:10:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Just like. Or just even like you're going into a doctor's office, you're going into a restaurant. These people don't know you from Tom, Dick or Harry. Right. So you don't know these people. They don't know you. So you were assuming things. Right. I'm not going to walk up to every person and be like, you know, yeah, yeah. I don't know. You know, we try to be as respectful as I can. As we can. But I feel like in a lot of relationships there, the lack of respect and the lack of someone else's taking someone else's feelings into consideration is probably the downfall of friendships, relationships. Like, you know, romantic relationships. Even family. [00:11:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:14] Speaker A: Because I think a family member. [00:11:16] Speaker B: I think that comes, honestly, right before politics, to be honest. I do. Well, especially with this environment, you know, with the. You know, with the president and everything. And the first time he ran, I think it ended a lot of relationships in families. A lot. And to me, that's dumb. [00:11:33] Speaker A: Well, this is America. Right. So you were. Even if you weren't born here, and you, you know, have the right to vote in this country. This is America. And the part of being an American citizen is you have the right to vote for whoever you want to and do whatever you want to feel however you want to, because that's written in our Constitution. [00:11:55] Speaker B: Yep. [00:11:56] Speaker A: So I don't care how someone else feels. I look that in the back, I'm like, cool. You feel that way, great. That's perfect. If I feel opposite of how you feel, then I know not to have that conversation with you because I don't want to debate someone. [00:12:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:12] Speaker A: And so sometimes you got to leave that shit out and you just focus on what it is. I don't agree with everything that my family says, and my mom is probably the one person that I agree the least amount with, but I don't talk about those things. But I also am not. Wouldn't be telling her my deepest, darkest secrets either. There are a lot of things that I protect her from. Right. So, like, there's a lot of. It's not that I'm not being honest with her or respecting her, but I'm withholding. [00:12:45] Speaker B: But I think some. I think that comes back to. In individual insecurities or securities where, you know, we as people inherently just hang on to certain things. Right. We just hang on to certain Things like, like, honestly, straight up, there's a couple things I want to say. Number one, you know, things about me that no one else does. Yeah. See what I'm saying? You know, But I also know you wouldn't hold those things over my head. [00:13:11] Speaker A: Why would I? I'm. I'm. [00:13:13] Speaker B: No, but that's what I'm saying. Right. There's so many that, oh, I do have that bag. And then the other funny thing is, is that I think, I think sometimes, and you and I've had this conversation privately, women really have a problem with other women sometimes. [00:13:30] Speaker A: Oh yeah, women are, women are. Women are foul, they're cruel, and I can be just as bad as everybody else. [00:13:39] Speaker B: But you're not a. But you're not, you're, you're not stuck in that phase, you know, like all throughout your life, like you were, you know, earlier, whatever, where you're not eventually going to say something. [00:13:51] Speaker A: No, I'm grown now. I mean, I, like if I was, if it was in my 20s, I was a little bit hot. More hot headed. [00:13:57] Speaker B: You were hot headed. Yeah. [00:13:58] Speaker A: And I would probably fight you and not think twice about it, but now I just wash my hands. Like if you hand me the scissors and I cut you off, that's your fault. That's on you. That's not on me because I. [00:14:11] Speaker B: But they'll tell you it's on you. [00:14:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, absolutely. [00:14:14] Speaker B: Kind of like the situation I talked about earlier about my friend and she just decided to no longer grow with my friend and they're best friends for a really long time and she just kind of smacked her in the face with something that just kind of like Bitch. Really? [00:14:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it happens. I feel like so much, I mean, just with everybody. And so you have to put limitations on what your expectations of friendship are. And then you have to find someone that is on the same maturity level as you are to have that same sort of respect. I have a little adopted daughter and she's, you know, early 20s and I'll tell you what, I get more respect from her than I do some 40 and 50 year old women. But I can call her and she can call me and we just, and we're very raw and there's no judgment, there's no nothing there and it's fabulous. And then I have some people that are my age that I'm like, not again. [00:15:23] Speaker B: I can't. Yeah, I can't do this again. Yeah. You know, and it's so funny you said that because my other thing I wanted to say was I almost lost track of it in my head, was. I don't. I don't really think everybody knows how hard it was for you and I to actually sit down and finally create the creative steps to do this podcast. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:41] Speaker B: Because we had so many obstacles, personally getting in the way. Number, number one for. It wasn't logistics because we're not that far apart. So it's not logistics. It was my schedule. It was. It was your schedule. And then for me, it was putting all of this together because while they don't know it, you know. You know, I spent five grand to get ready for this. [00:16:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:03] Speaker B: Because I said, if I'm going to do it, because that's how I am. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. So I'm going to buy the very best equipment. So I went out and spent a lot of money, you know, for new road equipment, bought a brand new laptop for it and, you know, and camcorder, the whole. I mean, the whole nine yards. And so even though it sits there waiting for a story to break that I can go, you know, do a story on, but it. I don't think that people realize sometimes when two people come together. Let me say it like this. Sometimes when two people come together, what may seem like it may be a little crusty at first, it may be a little. Oh, my God. Come on. It's just. Come on. Like we're talking, like, let's, you know, let's do it. But if the energy's there, right? If the energy's there with the other person, it's worth waiting for, right? Do you know what I mean? Because, you know, a lot of my friends are dudes or should have been dudes like you. [00:17:05] Speaker A: They're so. They're so much easier, like having male friends. And that's the other thing. Why is it. Oh, God. So impossible to have friends of the opposite sex? I do, but you know what I mean? Like, if you're in a relationship, right? And then your best friend's a dude, that guy's always like, oh, they're trying to screw you. Which maybe they are. And that's whatever. But you. You can't. You have to trust your partner enough not to do that, no matter what that other person feels. I have a very good friend that's of the opposite sex that I can call and say anything to. And it's great to get a perspective of a man on whatever I'm going through, because men are not as emotional as women. Women are emotional creatures. So sometimes you're like, I need to take a step back and get. [00:17:59] Speaker B: I can't do. I can't do you right now. I cannot do female experience right now. I need a break, man. I need a break. Like, real talk. I need a break. [00:18:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I just need. [00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:10] Speaker A: I need a different outlook, and it'd be great if I had a brother or cousin, you know, that I could do that with. But sometimes you just need that. Whatever. [00:18:22] Speaker B: I don't. [00:18:22] Speaker A: I can't look at you and be like, you're the dude. Because I can't, because you're. [00:18:26] Speaker B: It's funny on my phone. No, my Siri voice is a dude. Is it. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Mine's a girl. [00:18:31] Speaker B: No, I know. You get a choice. Oh, when I got my new choice, I had a choice. Yeah. And I was like, no, I'm done. I'm done with. I'm done. I'm woman'd out. I can't. I'm done. I can't. I can't. I'm taking the dude voice. I can't with. I can't anymore. [00:18:46] Speaker A: I don't even know how to change mine, to be bluntly honest. [00:18:51] Speaker B: You know, it's so funny. You know, like, you and I probably should have never happened, right? [00:18:58] Speaker A: Why would you think that? [00:19:00] Speaker B: No, hold on. Let me finish. Let me finish. No, hear me out. No, from the perspective of where we come from, probably should have never happened. How we. You know, how our relation. How our friendship relationship started, right? And so. Because it just doesn't happen on a regular basis like that, you know, it's like an. You know what I mean? [00:19:16] Speaker A: I'm gonna explain something, really, that a lot of people are gonna. Some people may understand, but I am a very friend, diverse person. And the reason I say that is I have friends. [00:19:30] Speaker B: But you read energy too. You told me that, right. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Of all different backgrounds, Right? Like, I have redneck friends. I have friends of different races, ethnicities, religious, you know, every. Everything I have. As a matter of fact, my kids are kind of like that too. But I think having friends with different things. Like, I could never go on a girls trip with my friends because not everybody would get along. Right? But I think having that diversity in your friend group makes you a better human. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with that. I think that. [00:20:08] Speaker A: So for you to say that. [00:20:10] Speaker B: But. No, what I'm. No, what I'm coming from. What I'm coming from is you and I are from, like. Okay, so how we came together. [00:20:18] Speaker A: We're two different world. [00:20:19] Speaker B: We're two different spectrums, right? Right. You know, I'm more in the volunteer world at the time, and you're more in the medical world because that's your life. I mean, that's. That's what she does, y'all. And so how we, you know, met and everything, it. And I'm. I'm one of those people called a. Not. Not. Not a Sensitive. No, that's not the word. But it's a person that's sensitive to vibration, of energy, of people. You know, we've talked about that before. And so when I'm around certain people and I get bad juju, I gotta go. [00:20:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:54] Speaker B: Because I. Right. I gotta feel it. Like, okay, peace out. I'm out. Because I can feel it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, you know, and so it, you know, kind of like when I walk into a hotel, you know, a hotel, I can tell if the rooms are clean because I look at the floors. Yeah. I'm just saying. I'm just saying that's what I do. You ought to see me when I walk into the Four Seasons. I'm really looking at the floor because I don't always trust some people to clean the rooms properly. But what I'm saying is, is that I'm sensitive like that. And so with you, wasn't because I was trans. No, no. It had nothing to do with that. Because you already knew that. It had nothing to do with that. But it. You just don't know. It's a crapshoot. [00:21:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:35] Speaker B: And then when we start talking about all these things that we were talking about, because at the time when we started, I remember you were so blazing tired of being called a CIS woman, remember? [00:21:49] Speaker A: Well, I think what it is. [00:21:50] Speaker B: You're like, what the fuck, man? [00:21:52] Speaker A: I think what it is. [00:21:53] Speaker B: I can't call you something. I can't make a mistake. But this is what you have decided to name me, Right? [00:21:59] Speaker A: But I think what it is, is everybody else's voice is so much louder. [00:22:03] Speaker B: The people that are amplified by the news media. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Right. And then you have somebody. And. And lately I've been kind of watching some, like, Live like, panels on TikTok, and I've been pulling up, like, Summit, like, what do you have with a problem with trans community? And what do you. And I just listen to them. And I recently kind of not really made friends, but I was listening to this girl, like, talk. And she was a trans woman, she was 21 years old, but I was listening to her talk to this guy, and he was, like, debating with her about whether the fact that she was a woman or not. And she's like, I'm not a woman. I'm a trans woman. I'm always forever gonna carry male DNA, but I'm a trans woman. So to me. [00:22:54] Speaker B: So he was. So was he saying she was wrong? [00:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:59] Speaker B: Being trans. [00:23:00] Speaker A: No. For saying that, like, oh, so okay. [00:23:03] Speaker B: Here we go again with that. [00:23:04] Speaker A: But we're not going to get into that. No, but that's what I'm saying. [00:23:07] Speaker B: Not today. [00:23:08] Speaker A: I, like, I've been listening to it and trying to educate myself a little bit better, but it wasn't until I met you that I was like, okay, let me. Let me rethink my thought process here, because all I'm seeing is this. And seeing this extreme side. [00:23:26] Speaker B: I think it shocked you with some of the things I was saying. [00:23:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:28] Speaker B: Because you're like, whoa, wait a minute. [00:23:30] Speaker A: I wasn't prepared. [00:23:31] Speaker B: You weren't. You're like, so I should stand up for myself? I'm like, well, yeah, you should stand up for yourself. Not literally, but you should have the opinion that. Hold up. No, no, no, no. You don't get to. You don't get to put a label on me. You know, I don't belong to you, bro. [00:23:48] Speaker A: I haven't. It's never personally. I mean, like, I've had people in conversations say things like that. [00:23:54] Speaker B: That's what I'm talking about. [00:23:55] Speaker A: But never to my face. Right, Right. I've never had to defend myself. Yet every person that I work with, like, as far as, like, my patients go, like, I know. And I mean, like. And we have the best relationship. I don't have a terrible relationship with anyone. [00:24:13] Speaker B: Except for that one that you refer for someone else to deal with. Remember that one? Because you just can't with him. [00:24:18] Speaker A: I can't with you. No, I'm just kidding. No, but I just. No, I. I mean, there is. If you've cussed me out and you've called me every name in the book, I won't. I won't do it. I don't get paid enough for that. I just can't. But I think. And that wasn't for being a woman. [00:24:39] Speaker B: That was just because he's an asshole. [00:24:41] Speaker A: They were angry. [00:24:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:42] Speaker A: But I think that it was important. I felt like your mission was important. And I don't feel like you had someone willing to sit down and have that conversation and. Because I was. [00:25:00] Speaker B: And I was trying really hard to try to form relationships and rapport with people and. And want, you know, and let them talk and try to educate, you know, people not to get off topic, because this is part of what we're talking about with, you know, relationships and so forth and pettiness and so. But it's been really hard because I find myself in a situation that, you know, has been raging on me, which is I have liberal white women telling me I don't know what I'm talking about, or my housekeeper son saying I'm stupid for supporting President Trump because she broke out. [00:25:38] Speaker A: Again. This is America, right? You can do, vote, see whatever you want to do. [00:25:46] Speaker B: But seem to have your straight dude, you know, tell you that, Tell his mom that I'm stupid for who I've voted for. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Well, I think. [00:25:55] Speaker B: So what it's like, it's, it's. We're talking about value. Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about value and the respect. [00:26:01] Speaker A: That you have to give. We did not vote the exact same way. We voted partially the same way. Because I think you voted straight down, right? Republican, Straight. I did not. [00:26:14] Speaker B: Not entirely, no. [00:26:15] Speaker A: Oh, you didn't either? No, I did not either. [00:26:17] Speaker B: We never talked about it. [00:26:18] Speaker A: But no, I didn't vote Democrats straight down and I didn't vote Republicans straight down. I voted for the person that I felt was going to do the best job. [00:26:25] Speaker B: And honestly, I can't. I can't trust Democrats right now. [00:26:28] Speaker A: I just can't. [00:26:28] Speaker B: I can't get into it. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Neither one of us, even if we've had opposing views, we respect each other enough to listen to those views and have a conversation about it. Oh, we were good without screaming, without yelling, and that's what you needed. And so that kind of fostered this relationship. And I, God love her little sister soul. I think I'm the man in this relationship because she's a little bit more sensitive than I. I am not sensitive. [00:26:57] Speaker B: Here's the thing. Here's the thing about people that secretly rage and they take medications to control their temper. I take medication to control my temper. But me, I am. [00:27:10] Speaker A: No. When you love someone and you care for someone, yes, you do pour your whole entire little heart out. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Yes. [00:27:17] Speaker A: And it did grow 10 sizes that day. But when you. [00:27:22] Speaker B: It doesn't mean I missed you on your trip, though. I just want to clarify. It doesn't mean I missed you. Oh, by me, five minute hugs do not mean I missed you. It doesn't. [00:27:30] Speaker A: But when you, like when we very first and I. It takes me. Sometimes I'm an awful texter. Like, I'll look at it and then I'll be like, oh, I need to respond back. [00:27:40] Speaker B: There was that huge misunderstanding we had in the beginning. [00:27:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:42] Speaker B: And you were like, I thought you bailed. [00:27:43] Speaker A: Do you not want to do this? I'm like, bro, I'm tired. I just can't. [00:27:48] Speaker B: No, because remember, you were like, oh. [00:27:50] Speaker A: I thought I did something. I'm like, no, I just am a terrible communicator. [00:27:55] Speaker B: And then you said. You said, oh, I thought you were just busy getting things ready. I'm like, no, I thought you had just decided not to, but you were afraid to tell me, so there was that whole big thing. [00:28:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:06] Speaker B: So. [00:28:06] Speaker A: But you're very. I find. And I find it endearing about you that you're very sensitive. I find it one with you. [00:28:12] Speaker B: I'll tell you what. With you, I am, but I am not. [00:28:15] Speaker A: I'm not super, super sensitive, but I am to a certain degree. [00:28:19] Speaker B: Not today you're not. [00:28:20] Speaker A: When I cut. When it comes to my children, I'm extremely sensitive. When it comes to my nieces and nephews, I'm extremely sensitive. When it comes to my sister, I'm not only sensitive, but I'm also very protective. So I think you have. That's also a great thing about relationships. I think you're very protective over me, and I don't think that I've had that besides my sister be that kind of friend to me where, you know, my sister will fight you. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Plus, it's. Plus it's part of being a Leo, so it's not just a friendship thing. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Oh, I forgot you were that. [00:28:56] Speaker B: You know, it's a no. But Leos, we are to, you know, almost to the. To the T of insanity when it comes to protecting friends. [00:29:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:05] Speaker B: And when you're in the fold, you're in. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:08] Speaker B: And so it's like, you know, I have. My aunt Connie resides with. In my house, and she's 76, and she's an amazing human being, but it's. [00:29:26] Speaker A: You have to protect that lady at all costs. I will protect her. [00:29:29] Speaker B: But what's funny is you've become. You've slowly become part of our. You family. Yeah, you have. Yeah. Yeah, you have. [00:29:38] Speaker A: I mean, it's. I think that people are just. [00:29:47] Speaker B: How do we figure out a way to get. [00:29:48] Speaker A: They don't want to talk about, like, the hard stuff. Right. And so then they become petty and they become like. They attack that other person instead of sitting down and have a conversation and wondering why your feelings are this way. Because feelings are right or wrong. They just. [00:30:04] Speaker B: My feelings are raw right now because you've made them raw feelings are right. [00:30:07] Speaker A: Or wrong, they just are right. So how you feel about a subject may not be the same way I feel about a subject, but neither of those things are right or wrong. They just are and they're okay and they're valid. So when you, when you have this friendship, it's important to nurture the ones that will nurture you back. [00:30:28] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, you say that and it's, it's, it's so funny. It's like. Well, for instance, you have a friend, right? You know, your friends. And you wonder because it's also something about tact and placement and you wonder. You have things like for you, for instance, you have something, you know, in different things in your life that I, I have to sew my mouth shut, you know, not to say something sometimes. And I just wonder when it's a tactful place and moment to say something and just to let you know, not give you advice. And this is for anybody in general. Right, but not give you advice and not hoard over it. However, hover. Sorry, hover over it. But when that moment comes to let you know. I don't, I don't particularly like this. I think you should take that moment, but you should say it with a delicate approach. Right. And just say, I know, but I have to just finally tell you to get it out of my system. I really don't like this. And yeah, it irritates me, it irritates my soul. But, but you've got to find a way to be able to have a tactful way to let let a situation right. In a conversation, introduce it, don't just offer it because people don't want to be offered that shit. [00:31:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:51] Speaker B: But when it's a moment where there's, where it can be slipped in because you see that your friend is down and something is crushing her and, or you know, or him sucking the life out of him. Right. [00:32:02] Speaker A: And. [00:32:03] Speaker B: Exactly. But you see that moment where you can say, and I know part of the problem. And I have to tell you, since it's open, it's really kind of irritating me. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:12] Speaker B: You know, and you. But, and, and that's a way to introduce it in like a sensitive way and wait and see how they respond and if they want to go there. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:21] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Cuz it's not always your place as a best friend or friend or what have you to speak on it. To speak on it. [00:32:32] Speaker A: Put your opinion right. [00:32:33] Speaker B: Just give it a minute, let it simmer. You have to realize they're dealing with it. First, it's not your problem. You don't like to see your friend going through it, but it's your job to listen, right? Yeah, And I think I do a. [00:32:44] Speaker A: Good job of that for you maybe sometimes times. [00:32:46] Speaker B: On occasion, she never listens to me. So, I don't know, she just busts in my front door, you know, and starts screaming at everybody to greet her. But, you know, I'm like a dog. You're my Little Pony. You are my Little Pony. [00:33:01] Speaker A: I mean, I could be a unicorn, you know? [00:33:03] Speaker B: Don't push it. Don't push it. [00:33:05] Speaker A: I need to sparkle, you know, you need to go. [00:33:07] Speaker B: You need to go get. [00:33:08] Speaker A: I need to be like one of those little trolls that, like, farts glitter. They're the best I want. [00:33:13] Speaker B: Or like Sour Patch Kids. One minute they're sour, and then they're sweet. [00:33:17] Speaker A: I'm really. I try to be very nice. The majority of the time it takes. As I've gotten older, it takes a lot longer for me to get pissed really fast. But when I do, I feel like the redheaded part of my family comes out in me, and I just. It takes forever to, like, calm me down. Have you ever been so mad that you've almost passed out? I've only been that one time, but. [00:33:43] Speaker B: I don't pass out. I fight. [00:33:44] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, it literally. I think that my. Maybe my blood pressure got so hot, but it was over my kid. I will. Literally. Yeah. [00:33:51] Speaker B: I mean, yeah, that. [00:33:52] Speaker A: My children are my life, and I love them deeply, but they suck your soul out, too, for sure. [00:33:59] Speaker B: But that can be. But that can be put within a controlled environment for anyone. You know what I mean? And that's the same thing with. That's the same thing with friends, you know? And I think then when that happens with, like, a best friend or what have you, you. You. You're not in shock. You're just puzzled. You're like, what the hell just happened here? [00:34:20] Speaker A: I think. [00:34:21] Speaker B: Did you really just say that? [00:34:23] Speaker A: Do that? Yeah. [00:34:24] Speaker B: Did you really just come at me that way? Are you for real? You know what I mean? And it hits you like that, and you're like, but what about what. What have I been thinking for 20 years? How many times have I let this roll on me? [00:34:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we let a lot of things kind of pass because you're just like, jesus Christ, I don't want to fight this battle right now. And then the more angry you get, the pettier you get, the more vindictive you get, the more. [00:34:52] Speaker B: So you are talking about women. [00:34:54] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I've seen some pretty pity men. [00:34:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Let's not going to tell you what let's. [00:34:59] Speaker A: But they're petty in a different way. It's a whole like, you know what. [00:35:02] Speaker B: We need to do one day I'm going to tell you what. You guys are going to learn a lot here. I'm just saying. But one day, you and I are going to have a conversation about how men are in prison. [00:35:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:35:12] Speaker B: Let me give you the stories. [00:35:16] Speaker A: You. [00:35:16] Speaker B: Guys keep tuning in because it's coming. Because we need to have that conversation about how petty men are. [00:35:20] Speaker A: I just think, you know, the world could be a better place if we just sat down and listened to other people. [00:35:28] Speaker B: No, the world would be a better place if everybody. Everybody had a little respect, got reminded. You can get punched in the face. [00:35:34] Speaker A: I mean, that's true. [00:35:35] Speaker B: But you might, you know, I watch them Karen videos. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Listen, I have those in my neighborhood. [00:35:40] Speaker B: Let me tell you. What. Oh, yeah, because one of your constituents around your area is one. I know there's multiple. Well, I'm so. But I'm talking about the one specifically. You know what I mean? And so I'm like, well, she don't. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Come to my house no more. [00:35:55] Speaker B: I know, but I just feel like I couldn't. I've never encountered a Karen yet, you know, I mean, a couple times I thought I had one, you know, and so. But I wasn't sure and come to find out, I think maybe she was just, you know, on cycle or whatever. But I'm waiting for that moment because first I'm going to remind you, you do realize you can get punched in the face, right? And then if you don't figure it out, you should go and run. Then I'm going to show you and I'm going to break every bone in your face. [00:36:25] Speaker A: And then you're gonna go to jail and I'm gonna have to bail you out. [00:36:27] Speaker B: Well, yeah, I mean, that's what friends do for each other. [00:36:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Leave your checkbook behind. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Which one? [00:36:34] Speaker A: I'm broke. [00:36:37] Speaker B: You take this one or this one. But don't take that one because it's Christmas account. It's empty right now. But, yeah, I think. And I think it's interesting how young kids today build friendships. Just FYI, friendships don't happen in text messages. That's kind of not how it works. And also, try not to cover. How did they say it? Try not to covet thy boyfriends of friends. Did I say that right? [00:37:03] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Try to pick your. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Please try to Leave their dick out of your mouth, because that's really rude. I'm just saying you don't say that's not a problem with chicks because you know it is. [00:37:12] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:37:13] Speaker B: And dudes do it too. They. They mad crush on what the dude has. And then you destroy. You destroy your bromance. You've destroyed your bromance. You're not. You really actually didn't want that girl because secretly, you know she's a pain in the ass. Because he's been telling you. [00:37:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:27] Speaker B: And the next thing you know, she's given you a sentence of 18 years to life. [00:37:34] Speaker A: Well, not necessarily, because. [00:37:36] Speaker B: Do you know what I'm saying? [00:37:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I know my daughter's father wasn't. [00:37:39] Speaker B: Around because guys will spend. They'll spend $10 on a Vetti cup for Starbucks, but you won't spend 15.99 for a box of raincoats. [00:37:48] Speaker A: No, absolutely not. [00:37:51] Speaker B: And never believe a chick that says, I'm on the pill. [00:37:53] Speaker A: Well, that's not. That's not 100 effective, you know, that's. [00:37:58] Speaker B: Why I'm saying what I saying. [00:37:59] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think I'm not even gonna get into that topic, but I feel like it goes all the way around, like, you know, companions, family, whatever. Both sides have to have, you know, a little bit of respect for each other. And I think that that is a thing of the past. I can remember my kid was late, elementary school, early middle school maybe. We went to the mall. I taught my kids that you should open doors for anybody elder, like older than you. Like men, women, especially the elderly. [00:38:41] Speaker B: Right. [00:38:42] Speaker A: He went to open a door for a lady. And I forgot we're not in the south anymore because that just happens like on a regular basis down there. [00:38:50] Speaker B: True story. [00:38:50] Speaker A: And the lady got snotty with him and I was like, honey, she. He's just doing what he was taught to do because he'll get in trouble if he does not do that. Because it is a respect thing. And so just little things like that that I think that, you know, we've lost and teaching our children just basic. [00:39:12] Speaker B: And people are so vain today. And I don't want to blame it just on this generation. Say it's kids, but it's not. I don't understand how people maybe five years younger than you and I, which is not even, you know, freaking old in the first place. They're so vain. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I think. Well, because Botox and filler and self worship, I just. All that is so like, just. You can go anywhere and get it now. Like you used to have to go plastic surgeon, make an appointment. Now there's a med. [00:39:38] Speaker B: There's a difference between, There's a, A difference between a maintenance stick, because, you know, I know about that kind of thing, but, you know, there's a difference between Botox, you know, to control line, or maybe some deep, you know, deep lines in the forehead or whatever, and, and what they're doing and what's out there. Yeah, because I'll do them. I'll do a maintenance trip. But what you're doing, no, thank you. [00:40:01] Speaker A: Yeah, it's the, the. [00:40:03] Speaker B: Your credit cards aren't paid, but you've got another thousand dollars worth of filler in your face. [00:40:08] Speaker A: Well, that's just poor. That's a failure of our education system and our parenting right there. [00:40:16] Speaker B: But it's more important we. We find out what you like, if you like a penis or vagina, instead of teaching you about the power of intelligence on money and a credit score. Oh, I learned how to write a check when I was. I think I was in 12. [00:40:31] Speaker A: Sixth or seventh grade. I was 12, whatever age you are in sixth or seventh grade. I was. [00:40:35] Speaker B: I remember I was 12 when I learned how to write a check. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Well, I. I was a grade ahead because I started school when I was four, so. Well, I'm just saying, while you were. [00:40:45] Speaker B: In class, I was still at home remembering, convincing everybody I'm a baby. I don't want to go to school. [00:40:49] Speaker A: I know, but I'm just saying my mom put me in school early. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Probably put you in school because you're a pain. [00:40:53] Speaker A: Yeah, because she couldn't stand my ass. But so I. I was off on the age a little bit. But I mean, my birthday was in December. I would have turned 5 in Dec. December. [00:41:04] Speaker B: But then now they have. But now they have preschool, which I think it's a good thing for parents today because unfortunately, you know, both parents have to work. And I don't understand how that happened because we could all, you know, we could all live on one man's salary and people could go to college and get cars, you know, for their 16th birthday and stuff. I don't know how. How that happened. [00:41:27] Speaker A: It's because we're materialistic now. Before, it wasn't like, you know, you didn't have, like, every thing going on. [00:41:37] Speaker B: You took into consideration if your parents could afford it. [00:41:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:40] Speaker B: Because you lived in the real world. [00:41:41] Speaker A: So worked on the summers. [00:41:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I had a choice. You can pay your car payment or you can pay your insurance. I wasn't dumb. [00:41:50] Speaker A: I Had to pay both. You lucky. [00:41:52] Speaker B: I was told I could pay car payment or I could pay car payment or I could pay insurance. But I wasn't dumb because I had a dodgy Daytona that was red and I was 16. And so I chose car payment because I knew I couldn't afford this. And then I got a job at a local grocery store. I'm not going to name it. Well, I can't, because they're all gone anyway. It was called iga. They're all gone anyway. And that's where I had one of my first jobs. That was after I left Taco Bell, because the manager was nice to me. You know, they're nice to you, and they're sitting you down and interviewing you, and you're really nervous because, you know, I was 15 years old, right? And they're really nice. And then they hire you and you have to come to work, you know, the next day. And, you know, you try to be Johnny on the spot, you know, and be dressed for it and everything. And I was. I wore the wrong shoes. I thought I was in a New Kids on the Block concert, but I wore the wrong shoes. So I called my mom. Yeah, so my mom brought me some real shoes because I wore the wrong ones. And I was not happy. I am not doing what you said I would do. You said I get to be on the conveyor belt of making tacos and all that. I wasn't. First they stuck me in the back with pans all the way up the wall. [00:43:09] Speaker A: You gotta earn your keep. [00:43:10] Speaker B: No, I don't. So, you know, I don't. Even now. So all the way up the wall, I have to wash all these. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Boozy bitch. [00:43:19] Speaker B: All these. I have to freaking wash. And then they finally moved to. Then they moved me out of that to. I got to learn how to use the fryer because I got to do the refied bean deal. I learned how to. That's where my love of refried beans came from. Because I'll tell you what, I used to dip my finger in there. [00:43:39] Speaker A: You're disgusting. [00:43:40] Speaker B: Why? I was hungry. [00:43:42] Speaker A: You don't do that. [00:43:43] Speaker B: I felt like I was being starved to death. I was hungry. Oh, my God. She says the break's not for another hour. You know, lunch break. Well, I'm hungry now, so I'm just getting me a small spoon and scooping out some of these refried beans that are done. [00:43:55] Speaker A: I'm done. [00:43:58] Speaker B: But she wasn't nice to me anymore. [00:44:02] Speaker A: Do you see why? [00:44:04] Speaker B: I mean, she's back there eating refried. [00:44:06] Speaker A: Beans letting passing gas. [00:44:07] Speaker B: Talk about I got to eat though. You're gonna stop me from eating. I'm an eater, you know. And so there was, it wasn't even any cute guys really there at the time, you know. No, I was still in love with Mr. Clean, so it didn't really matter. [00:44:20] Speaker A: But really, Mr. Clean. Clean, are you kidding? [00:44:23] Speaker B: That body, are you kidding? And them long legs, are you kidding? [00:44:26] Speaker A: I've never been a bald headed guy kind of person, but. But I don't think I've even dated. [00:44:30] Speaker B: But see, that was my first. But see, that was my first attraction to like the female specimen. I mean, the male specimen, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, he was hot and I was young, bro. All the. [00:44:42] Speaker A: I'm learning new things about you all day long. [00:44:44] Speaker B: Well, I mean, all the signals were starting to get turned on, you know, and, and so, yeah, that was my first crush. And so anyway, one day she was being really mean. I don't know if she was in a bad mood or what. Some of the people I started to become friends with and I wanted to work on, you know, the conveyor belt line, you know, to make the tacos and everything. Well, you don't just make tacos. I found out we make everything. And you have to be a little bit faster than that and you have to know how to read the screens. And I just wasn't moving quick enough, you know. And so she literally grabbed my arm, said, we're going to go over here. [00:45:14] Speaker A: I was like, oh, you're a diva. [00:45:18] Speaker B: And we're short staffed today. You say, oh gosh, I don't appreciate you grabbing my arm. Okay. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Did you leave? [00:45:28] Speaker B: Oh, I did. I went in her office, called my mother and waited outside. She said, did you really just quit? And I said, yup, but good luck with that. [00:45:37] Speaker A: That's Betty Jit right there. [00:45:39] Speaker B: I was like, I know you're. I was like, I know you don't have enough people today. Sorry. I guess I just don't, you know, deserve to be here. And so then I ended up getting the job at iga, which was much better. Yeah, I liked it. And it had cute boys. Nice. Yeah, you had cute boys. So then I was discovering other boys and, and so, yeah, that's kind of how it went for me. And I had, you know, I ended up paying my car payment, but back then, you know, making 700amonth, that was. [00:46:09] Speaker A: A lot of money. [00:46:10] Speaker B: Then it was, Are you kidding? Paid for that Daytona? Yeah, until I lost it. We won't go into that today. [00:46:16] Speaker A: No. [00:46:17] Speaker B: 7:29Pm but we won't go into that. That was my watch, y'all. I'm sorry. It. It's telling me things. I don't know why, but, y'all, we just wanted to give you this small little episode today. You know, just a little context of pettiness and relationships and let us know what you think. Do you feel those things are true? Like, does that ring true for you? Does it make you think about someone you know in your own life? [00:46:42] Speaker A: Bad relationships make you be petty. [00:46:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Lack of communication. [00:46:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Respect. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Things like that. And so we just wanted to give you a food for thought today. We have just given you three good episodes, so we hope you check those out. And also please everyone, if you will. We know you're listening. We know you like the content. Please head over to our Patreon, where you can become a member for five bucks a month. Only five bucks a month. And you can catch our new Patreon show that we'll be releasing soon. We're working on getting it recorded. It's going to be a bunch of zany stuff, and, you know, entertainment's involved and talking about movies and people and gossip, all those kinds of things. Because we all miss Wendy Williams. So we're trying to replace her. This is Media Labs. I am Chronicles. [00:47:30] Speaker A: And I'm Alice. [00:47:31] Speaker B: And this is. [00:47:31] Speaker A: It's Media Labs. I coughed. [00:47:36] Speaker B: Hold on. I can't. That's okay. I can.